Monday, April 26, 2010

Today...

... is a bad day. I feel like such a failure. I can't quit smoking. I try, but I lack willpower or whatever it is that it takes to kick this habit? I rationalized that I am smoking less, which is true, but less isn't enough. This habit will kill me and I don't seem to care enough to stop.

I could blame the physical pain I'm suffering with my back, but that wouldn't be right because I couldn't quit the three times before when I tried and there wasn't any pain. No, the pain may make it harder, but the reality is I won't give this vile, socially despicable, unhealthy habit up and I don't know why?

Thousands of people have managed to quit worldwide. People that have had the habit a long time and were just has addicted as I am. What is wrong with me? I want to quit.

I hate the looks I get when people find out I smoke. I don't want or need their condescending or pitying glances. I am not a monster or deviant let out of jail by a misshapen justice system. Yet, I'm left to feel like one.

But never mind those "charming" folks. I WANT to quit before my health suffers to the point that it's too late.

I will try again and hope the next time works. I am so tired of feeling like a failure...Yes...

today is a bad day.

2 comments:

  1. Would you like to try reading that book of ours?? It has worked for people that I know of, quite a few of them....you just have to be ready to quit when you read it, and it works!! Worth a shot....I know Chris is using it right at this second, but if you want to try it maybe we can find a copy for you somewhere!! Don't give up!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Don't beat yourself up...... you'll do it!!!

    ReplyDelete

I look forward to hearing from my readers so, please do comment.