Let’s Dance

I am thinking today about the many young women I know who are married and have or are planning a family. I am remembering how difficult it can be to grow a happy marriage, raise healthy, well-adjusted children and still find time to take care of oneself. It is one of life’s greatest challenges. When done well all the trials and tribulations of marriage and family are truly worth it, yet so many give up before any of the immense rewards are obtained. Why is that?


It’s said that statically about 40% of marriages fail. That’s an alarming rate and although I’m sure it’s a multi-layered and complex problem; I wonder if fundamentally we look at marriage in a wrong way? It is often described as hard work, a game, a trap, prison or hell on earth. Any and all of these descriptions imply a difficult and painful journey. If our psyche is tuned into thinking our marriage is nothing but work, a trap or any other dreadful synonym, is it surprising at all that so many couples split up? How can we possibly get through the pitfalls and challenges that living a lifetime with someone requires when we don’t even portray it in a joyful light?

In all fairness, marriage isn’t always joyful. It can be tremendously demanding and sometimes you do feel trapped. Then those times when the hubby makes you so mad you could spit nails; it does feel like hell on earth. Okay, I admit it and yes, have felt it, but my saving grace and finding my bliss changed with a word. Dance. Yes, dance. Marriage is like a dance. It’s such a nice word with such lovely connotations; right? Unless you’re dancing with someone with two left feet.... Ahhhhh; now you beginning to get it.


A new marriage is like a dance between two people who haven’t found their stride together. Sometimes you’re both trying to lead, sometimes both follow. You step on his feet and he steps on yours. You trip, he stumbles and sometimes you collapse in utter exhaustion and frustration from all the effort. Yet, sometimes you collapse in laughter and hilarity. These are the early years of a marriage. Then time moves on and....

As the years roll by and the music changes (diapers, bottles, teething) your partner and you begin to find a rhythm and a song that suits both. More years, more songs and soon you find you’re hardly ever tripping over each other any longer. The dance matures and your styles begin to merge. My goodness after many trials and much effort you find you’ve both become such accomplished dancers that you can swirl around the ballroom floor without missing a beat. You look beautiful together and there is so much joy!

It was worth all the sacrifices and painful experiences. You are so grateful you didn’t give up and look for another dance partner. Marriage like dancing takes practise, patience, respect and above all, tenacity. You’re so glad you stayed and danced....

Answered Prayer

I recently got the news that I’ll likely need back surgery in the near future. To give some history; I originally injured my back at work over two years ago and shortly thereafter I took a not so graceful fall down our stairwell. The short of this is that I severely messed up my lower back and since August of last year I’ve been unable to work and am in constant pain.

It has been a very difficult time; a life changing time. I was one of those persons who would go, go, go, until I dropped. Not that I never relaxed; don’t get me wrong. I spent most evenings after the day’s work was done relaxing aka exhausted. Evenings for many years have been my precious time for solitude. This time is what recharged me for the next day’s work and work was my focus. The old adage “If you want something done; do it yourself” was my mantra. I felt drained, sleep-deprived and generally horrid. Sadly, despite these physical warnings, I carried on thinking one day there`ll be time to slow down and smell the roses.

Well, let me say, a back injury brought about that day. At first I tried to hobble through my work attempting to keep up; not asking for help and creating more pain, more exhaustion. I WAS NOT going to admit I needed help or I couldn`t do it. I refused to listen to loved ones, co-workers or even medical professionals. There was work to be done and I needed to do it! Stubborn arrogance! Stupidity!

The pain kept intensifying until it brought me to my knees and after several pity parties and many emotional tears God revealed to me that it was actually an answer to prayer. An answer to prayer! Being disabled! No one wants this kind of pain! I didn`t pray for pain! Was He crazy? Ah, but He reminded me, I had prayed for balance, simplicity, peace....

Epiphany arrived! God had been trying to show me for years how to slow down and achieve the life I really desired. Upon reflection I knew in my soul that I`d heard Him, but chose to ignore that ``Still, small voice``. I realized that my poor choices had brought me to this time in my life and it was no accident. I wanted my life to be simpler, but chose not to follow the route that would achieve it. Now I was forced to follow. It really was my answer to prayer, the hard way!

What lessons have I learned? Although it hasn`t been easy and quite out of character, I`m learning to delegate and ask for help. I`ve humbled myself and admit I`m not super-woman and can`t do everything. I`m learning to appreciate that tasks can be done over time and still get done. In fact, I think despite my disability I`m actually getting more accomplished over the long run because I accept help and pace myself in more constructive manner. Surprise! Surprise! There really is another way to live an accomplished life! Things still get done and I don`t have to do them all! Who knew?

I`m still a work in progress. You don`t unring a bell overnight, but despite the constant pain, I truly feel more at peace than I have in years. Life has become simpler and less rushed. I rest through the day and even take a nap. Oh the virtues of napping; another day`s blog!

It`s been a rough road to travel and it`s not over. I still must face surgery and don`t know if this will become a permanent disability, but I trust God`s ways. I`m learning to listen to the voice inside that possesses all the true wisdom. There`s nothing like a life-altering event to transform your focus. This truly has been an answer to prayer and I thank God for it; well most of the time anyway....

Let’s Laugh

What cracks you up? I mean the kind of laughter you feel from your nose to your toes? When did you last have a belly-hugging, tears flowing, can hardly breathe laugh? We don’t have enough of these moments in our lives. In fact, as we age, we laugh less and less. Children laugh about 400 times a day as compared to adults who laugh only 17 times a day and that’s on a good day.

So what happens to us? Why do we lose our humor or do we? Maybe we just get so caught up in being RESPONSIBLE adults that we forget how? Laughter is therapeutic with the only side effect perhaps a sore belly. It lowers blood pressure, increases our “happy” hormones, decreases stress and helps us sleep better. What’s not to like about laughter? Some of the best people to be around are those who see the humor in life.

So, I declare 2010 the year for bringing laughter back into fashion. I want to laugh like a child; free and unrestrained. Heh, none of us are going to get out alive so, why not laugh more? Okay, for all you sour pusses I promise to be serious where I need to be, but as for the rest of the time well....lets laugh!
To start us off on the right foot I’ve put together some jokes, quips and quotes. Feel free to laugh or at least crack a smile....

Why English is funny:
We must polish the Polish furniture.
He could lead if he would get the lead out.
The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

Things You Don't Want To Hear During a Surgery:
Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness
Well folks, this will be an experiment for all of us.
You sure it wasn't this leg?

Useless Inventions:(these are real)
A tape on how to put together a VCR
A book on how to read
Non stick Cello tape - it exists!!!!
A book on how to read
Solar Powered Flash Light
A black highlighter pen

There now I’ve brought some humour into the world. I just know my readers can do so much better. Why not put your favourite “funny” in comments so we all can get a good laugh. I love the following quote about laughter; I shall live by this....
“Even if there is nothing to laugh about, laugh on credit.” ~Author Unknown

Time and Time Again

Why it is as time goes by many of us tend to cease or curtail doing things that once brought us immense enjoyment and relaxation? For instance, I like to fish in the summer. Not because I catch anything as a rule or even keep the fish if I do. I just like the experience. I especially like going early in the morning just as the sun sneaks over the horizon and the air is crispy, clean and fresh. The stillness is broken only by the occasional Loon calling or the splash of an errant fish. It’s so refreshing and natural I can feel the woes and stresses of the rat race drop away.

I love, love going to the mountains at least once every season. Their majesty makes me sense God and my place among nature. I feel like I belong to a greater plan and it inspires me. Each season is painted with an unique brush; more than my eye can take in, but my heart soaks up every detail. I wouldn’t want to live there because I know I’d lose my awe and gratitude over time. Familiarity breeds contempt.

Reading is one of my most gratifying experiences. Whether to inspire or carry me away on wings of fantasy; books are my dear friends. If I don’t read regularly I feel a void that I can’t find adequate words to describe. Books feed my spirit, awaken my imagination and bring life to the ordinary.

Going for a cruise with my hubby along the highways and byways engulfs me with joy. We will turn the tunes way up and rock on down the highway or delight in the conversation and ambience the open road creates. It doesn’t matter where we go. It isn’t the destination that matters, but the trip. Getting lost and trying to orientate ourselves by the sun is part of the hoot.

Sometimes in our busyness and rush through life we quit allowing time to do all that once lifted us up over the mundane. Time and time again we’re too busy raising kids, earning a living and all the real life issues can cause us to overlook finding space for those times that in truth, supply us with the nourishment we need to be fulfilled and satisfied.

My goal is to recapture on a consistent basis all that fills me up. The dishes can keep, laundry will wait and overtime will be there when I get back. Time won’t wait. It isn’t just a clique; it truly doesn’t. So, make it a habitual priority to gather up that fishing rod, open that book or whatever saturates your spirit. Make the time. Adjust your life and work your schedule around creating a life not just earning a living.