Ryan & Tatum

Have you been watching the documentary on "OWN" TV about Ryan and Tatum O'Neil? It is their attempt at reconciling after being estranged for 25 years. Tatum has serious anger and abandonment issues toward her father and Ryan doesn't seem to want to admit any wrongdoing and would rather  just let it go and move forward. 

Ryan is painted as the "bad" guy, but I feel he really does want to restore their relationship despite his frustrations with Tatum. She is the distressed victim who endured years of brutality from her father. But I wonder if anything in real life is that black & white?

I know from my own life that perception can be utterly different between two people. I believe there is much of this going on between Tatum and Ryan. For instance, I remember having profound issues with my mother about specific incidences that happened in my life; issues that she saw totally unlike my memories. How was it possible that she saw it so differently? I could never make her fully grasp my point of view on what happened or how it made me feel. All we did was frustrate and anger each other whenever I wanted to discuss it.

After many tears and much prayer, God revealed to me that our recollections were poles apart and just as I remembered my way, Mom remembered hers. It was what it was and nothing could be gained by our tug-a-war except more hard feelings. I realized that seeking the  "Big Apology" from Mom was never going to happen because she couldn't see any wrongdoing with her actions. I either let it go and forgave her or walked away from our relationship. I chose the former because despite it all, I loved her and wanted her in my life. It was then that I began to heal.

I don't know if my way is what Tatum needs to do; I'm not a professional, but I believe we can't change anyone. Until they realize the need to change we have the choice to leave or remain, stay in pain or heal. Forgiveness is not contingent on the perpetrator changing or deserving it. Maybe Tatum needs to just forgive her dad and begin to heal. Just saying...

Born out of Trouble

"May today there be peace within. May you trust that you are exactly where
you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are
born of faith in yourself and others. May you use the gifts that you have
received, and pass on the love that has been given to you.  May you be
content with yourself just the way you are. Let this knowledge settle into
your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is there for each and every one of us."

Read this again...I'll wait.
Peace within, wouldn't that be awesome? Isn't that a gift most of us lack? What does it mean to have peace within? How do we get there from the chaos and discord within and without us? The answer lies in the rest of the quote...

Regardless of our spiritual beliefs it is important to KNOW that we are where we are suppose to be at this time, in this place. There are no accidents when it refers to our destiny. This is so easy to accept when everything is in perfect harmony, but what of great turmoil and confusion? How can we then accept that this is where we need to be? Surely this type of madness is created by a mistake of some sort and not sorely intended? But what if I were to suggest that even if our misfortune could be traced back to some lunatic thing that happened by our hand or another, that it was intended and necessary to our journey?

The next two lines describe why dark times happen and what they do for us. If our difficulties are tough enough we won't easily forget them or the lessons learned. Aside from our spiritual faith growing, we learn to have faith in ourselves and others, realizing the sum of our true potential when we triumph.  Out of every conquered trial we are given gifts of divine wisdom and compassion that can be shared with others. The love shown us can be passed on and in the same way we can love ourselves; flawed and all.

True freedom is born out of troubles; it is often a hard won battle, but necessary and worthwhile. Trials are meant to show us our need for faith, compassion and love for ourselves as well has others. In order to have the life we are meant to live, we must accept trials gracefully, as a requirement to birth peace.
Read the quote again...I'll wait.

I'm having troubles with others wanting to leave comments for me so, if you have trouble and would like to comment, please email me at nelson@telusplanet.net. I really do want to hear from you and love any comments.

Woman writes own Obituary

Here is part of an obit written by an frustrated overweight Nova Scotia lady that she posted online to express her anger at the long wait for weight loss surgery. She is currently on a 10-year wait list for bariatric surgery which decreases the size of the stomach.

On Dr. Yoni Freedhoff's blog, weightymatters.ca, she wrote, "We are sad to inform you of the untimely passing of a young mother, sister, daughter and friend. She died at a young age due to complications with obesity that she fought for years to overcome. Lillian suffered many years with asthma, severe high blood pressure, pain due to stress on her joints from her weight and in the last while was diagnosed with sleep apnea and diabetes."

I don't know how heavy this gal is or how long she has tried to lose weight or what weight loss methods she's used, but I do wonder why the wait list is 10 years long? Why are there so many obese folks in a small province like Nova Scotia, that surgeons can't keep up?  What is going on with people? Why are we getting so overweight that we can't lose the extra baggage on our own?

If her weight is so life-threatening, why can't this Nova Scotia woman just quit eating so much and start exercising so she can live longer? Surely, she hasn't really tried very hard? After all, everyone knows fat people are just lazy. Right? Well...

There was a time I absolutely didn't believe obesity was a "real" disease or disorder. I figured the solution was easy and obvious; just quit stuffing your face so full of food! Viola! Problem solved! But then I saw how my own sister struggled to keep her weight under control and realized that there was more to this problem than my simplistic and insensitive viewpoint.

My sister's problem began in childhood when thoughtless parents ridiculed her for being pudgy. By pudgy, I mean a mere 10 or 15 pounds overweight. Suffering rude comments like; "Give her a shovel, the fork is too small" or "She's got a ass on her like a forty dollar steer" did nothing for my sister's self-esteem. These embarrassing comments were intended to cause her to eat less out of humiliation, but in fact, caused her to seek solace in food. The very thing that was causing her to gain weight became her best friend. Funny how our mind works...

To make a long story short, what was a small childhood problem that my sister would likely have outgrown, became a lifelong battle. The emotional scarring became permanent and so firmly entrenched that all the diets and exercise programs in the world didn't work.

She had great success at times with diet and exercise losing at one point a whopping 130 pounds! The problem was that she regained most of this weight as time passed. All her efforts and desperation drove her to try more and more crazy diets in hopes of winning the battle of the bulge. She tried diets that were potentially more harmful to her health than the extra weight.

Many people who have weight problems have greater emotional issues that need to be addressed in order to heal from the inside out. I don't know the history or story of the lady from Nova Scotia who has come to rely on an operation to lose weight. I do know she sees it has a last hope or she wouldn't have written the faux obit. Perhaps she's tried everything including psychological help, without success.

I do know that being obese isn't just life-threatening, it is also, life-altering. We need to begin viewing people with weight issues with more empathy and compassion. As with all addictions, food provides an escape from pain. Most of these people know their addiction is killing them, but like the heroin addict they are helpless to help themselves. Obesity is a complicated disease that involves the whole of us; mind, body, spirit. I don't believe diets, surgery, pills or exercise can end the brutal cycle of loss and gain until we start treating every aspect of the individual.

I pray God is able to show this lady from Nova Scotia an alternative way to overcome her weight issues. If she can heal the reasons that she overeats then she won't need the surgery.

" He heals the brokenhearted And binds up their wounds." Psalms 147:3

Today's Standard of Fame

     Lady Gaga Meat Dress: Enshrined in Rock and Roll Hall of Fame!

Well, what do you think of Lady Ga Ga's demonstration? How about putting this dress in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame? Supposedly it was her way of making a statement against treating others (particularly homosexuals) like a piece of meat. Huh???

Okay, I get that she is pro-homosexual and doesn't feel they are treated fairly as human beings. I agree that no one deserves to be treated with any type of prejudice regardless of color, race or sexual preference. We are all God's children and He loves us regardless of our wayward ways and we should try to show that same level of love to others.  If we did, this world would be a much kinder place.

However, love doesn't necessarily mean approval and although I think Lady Ga Ga is remarkably talented, I just can't love or approve of her replusive stunt. Couldn't she have used a more tasteful way to make her proclamation against hatred? But the whole point was to be shocking. Right? Yea, that's the way of today's younger generation...to be shocking.

Lady Ga Ga could've tried really being different and have done something less tacky. Surely, such an incredibly creative lady could've expressed her opinion without draping her body in prime cuts of meat? This stunt was bizarre to say the least.

She goes out of her way to be outlandish and outrageous. However, she isn't the first rock star (Madonna, Ozzy, Alice Cooper) to push the envelope and she won't be the last. My problem with this behavior, is that in order to outdo their predecessors, today's new stars must do exploits that are wilder and weirder. Where will this all end?

I'm really not a prude... afterall, I grew up in the seventies, but surely I'm not alone in thinking enough is enough. These PR stunts are getting far too disturbing; all in an effort to be unique and distinctive. What would really be DIFFERENT would be if today's young stars did showcases based simply on showing off their amazing talent.

Now THAT would be totally shocking!

The Healing Code

I just read "The Healing Code" by Alexander Loyd. It was an interesting book that offered up some fairly extravagant claims on healing health, relationship and success issues in your life.

Alexander Loyd is a born again christian who received this revelation from God or so, he states. It is a six minute healing method done three times per day that restores health to whatever our life issue may be. The biggest claim is that it heals at the source of our pain which predictably lies in the core of our subconscious; the part of our mind which lies beneath our awareness.

This code doesn't involve any drugs, treatments or physical manipulations. It is simply a series of hand motions over specific upper body areas that supposedly creates a positive and healing outcome if applied properly. It almost seems too simple which is the crux of my uneasiness; I come from the school of thought that if something is too easy it must be bogus. Right? Well... not necessarily.

The book discusses in detail cellular memory and it's affect on our health. Stevan Thayer, founder of Integrated Energy Therapy defines cellular memory as; "Every cell in our body has the ability…to remember. Our Cellular Memory can store the memory of physical trauma like accidents, cuts, bruises, surgeries, or abuse; emotional trauma like heartache, fear, built and anger; and mental trauma that manifests in low self-esteem, unworthiness, worry, etc. When trauma is suppressed into the cellular memory, that energy can get stuck. The problem with suppressed cellular memory is not only does it limit our ability to live freely and joyfully in life but it can also support the body in developing physical illness." 

This definition is perhaps the best description of the cellular process and Mr. Loyd asserts that he was given the codes to heal the damaging memories that are harming our lives, even if we're not aware of them. I have a couple of problems with this method aside my issues about simplicity.

Cellular memory can't be measured like we measure brainwaves, heartbeats, etc. Without measurement we are left mostly with results and even these can't be quantified. If someone states the healing code didn't work for them, there could be many reasons why the codes didn't work. Did the subject do them properly and consistently? Did he/she resist mentally or emotionally?

 This type of healing method is just too subjective to prove. It is similar to trying to prove the existence of God. This leaves me wondering if Mr. Loyd is genuine or just trying to sell a book that he is assured will be gulped up by the masses of unhappy and ill folks that are desperate for healing?

The fact that his website offers more intensive and instructive help for a considerably high price (around $800.00) doesn't ease my uneasiness about Mr. Loyd's true intentions. I realize he'd have to charge something for this extra help, but 800 buckaroos seems very excessive for a man who claims this all came from God free of charge.

Shouldn't a godly man who possesses the key too restoring physical, emotional and spiritual health be keen to get this miracle to as many folks has possible? Wouldn't donations made by grateful recipients cover any and all costs? If this truly came from God; wouldn't God take care of business? Do you see my issue with this? Do you agree?

I would love to heal my life issues, especially those that are unconscious, with such ease. It truly would feel like a miracle. I am even willing to give it a whirl. If I don't meet with success (Mr. Loyd requests his readers to inform him of their experience) and I end up having to shell out 800 dollars because my issues "need special attention", then I will be convinced it is all just a seedy way to get rich quick and God has no part in it.

The only way to find out if this is a fraud is to go forth with it. I will let my readers know how it goes. In the meantime, let me know your thoughts, objections or impressions. I believe the world is full of God's miracles and He is ready to heal each and everyone of us. Is the "Healing Code" one of His methods? Did Mr. Loyd truly get inspired? I hope so...