Let’s Dance

I am thinking today about the many young women I know who are married and have or are planning a family. I am remembering how difficult it can be to grow a happy marriage, raise healthy, well-adjusted children and still find time to take care of oneself. It is one of life’s greatest challenges. When done well all the trials and tribulations of marriage and family are truly worth it, yet so many give up before any of the immense rewards are obtained. Why is that?


It’s said that statically about 40% of marriages fail. That’s an alarming rate and although I’m sure it’s a multi-layered and complex problem; I wonder if fundamentally we look at marriage in a wrong way? It is often described as hard work, a game, a trap, prison or hell on earth. Any and all of these descriptions imply a difficult and painful journey. If our psyche is tuned into thinking our marriage is nothing but work, a trap or any other dreadful synonym, is it surprising at all that so many couples split up? How can we possibly get through the pitfalls and challenges that living a lifetime with someone requires when we don’t even portray it in a joyful light?

In all fairness, marriage isn’t always joyful. It can be tremendously demanding and sometimes you do feel trapped. Then those times when the hubby makes you so mad you could spit nails; it does feel like hell on earth. Okay, I admit it and yes, have felt it, but my saving grace and finding my bliss changed with a word. Dance. Yes, dance. Marriage is like a dance. It’s such a nice word with such lovely connotations; right? Unless you’re dancing with someone with two left feet.... Ahhhhh; now you beginning to get it.


A new marriage is like a dance between two people who haven’t found their stride together. Sometimes you’re both trying to lead, sometimes both follow. You step on his feet and he steps on yours. You trip, he stumbles and sometimes you collapse in utter exhaustion and frustration from all the effort. Yet, sometimes you collapse in laughter and hilarity. These are the early years of a marriage. Then time moves on and....

As the years roll by and the music changes (diapers, bottles, teething) your partner and you begin to find a rhythm and a song that suits both. More years, more songs and soon you find you’re hardly ever tripping over each other any longer. The dance matures and your styles begin to merge. My goodness after many trials and much effort you find you’ve both become such accomplished dancers that you can swirl around the ballroom floor without missing a beat. You look beautiful together and there is so much joy!

It was worth all the sacrifices and painful experiences. You are so grateful you didn’t give up and look for another dance partner. Marriage like dancing takes practise, patience, respect and above all, tenacity. You’re so glad you stayed and danced....