Is This You?

I did not write this, but I thought I'd like to share it with my bloggy friends. Very thought provoking especially now as 2010 comes to an end and 2011 is just around the corner...maybe we should all rethink how we'll live next year.

Too many people put off something that brings them joy just because they haven't thought about it, don't have it on their schedule, didn't know it was coming or are too rigid to depart from their routine.

I got to thinking one day about all those people on the Titanic who passed up dessert at dinner that fateful night in an effort to cut back. From then on, I've tried to be a little more flexible.

How often have your kids dropped in to talk and sat in silence while you
watched 'Jeopardy' on television?

I cannot count the times I called my sister and said , 'How about going to
lunch in a half hour?' She would gas up and stammer, 'I can't. I have clothes on the line. My hair is dirty. I wish I had known yesterday, I had a late breakfast, it looks like rain' and my personal favourite: 'It's Monday.' She died a few years ago. We never did have lunch together.

Because Americans cram so much into their lives, we tend to schedule our headaches.. We live on a sparse diet of promises we make to ourselves when all the conditions are perfect!

We'll go back and visit the grandparents when we get Steve toilet-trained.
We'll entertain when we replace the living-room carpet. We'll go on a second honeymoon when we get two more kids out of college.

Life has a way of accelerating as we get older. The days get shorter, and the list of promises to ourselves gets longer. One morning, we awaken, and all we have to show for our lives is a litany of 'I'm going to,' 'I plan on,'
and 'Someday, when things are settled down a bit.'

When anyone calls my 'seize the moment' friend, she is open to adventure and available for trips. She keeps an open mind on new ideas. Her enthusiasm for life is contagious. You talk with her for five minutes, and you're ready to trade your bad feet for a pair of Rollerblades and skip an elevator for a bungee cord.

My lips have not touched ice cream in 10 years. I love ice cream. It's just
that I might as well apply it directly to my stomach with a spatula and
eliminate the digestive process. The other day, I stopped the car and bought a triple-decker. If my car had hit an iceberg on the way home, I would have died happy.

Now...go on and have a nice day. Do something you WANT to..not something on your SHOULD DO list. If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting?


Make sure you read this to the end; you will understand why I sent this to you.

Have you ever watched kids playing on a merry go round or listened to the rain lapping on the ground? Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight or gazed at the sun into the fading night? Do you run through each day on the fly? When you ask 'How are you?' Do you hear the reply?

When the day is done, do you lie in your bed with the next hundred chores running through your head? Ever told your child, 'We'll do it tomorrow.' And in your haste, not see his sorrow? Ever lost touch? Let a good friendship die? Just call to say 'Hi'?


When you worry and hurry through your day, it is like an unopened
gift....Thrown away... Life is not a race. Take it slower. Hear the music
before the song is over.


'Life may not be the party we hoped for... but while we are here we might as well dance!

Happy 16 Birthdays

December is the last month of 2010, the birthday month my older sister shares with Jesus. I always thought it would be cool to share Jesus' birth month. Or as the kids say today, "It would be really SIC!" No matter; it is my sister's birthday and for the first time in scores of years we can celebrate...

Although I sent my sister birthday cards most of the years we didn't speak, they were just a hollow attempt to stay in contact. This year the card really means something. My sister and I have been estranged for 16 years over an issue with her boyfriend. We did ostensibly resolve this matter after the first 8 years, but for some reason our so-called reconciliation never materialized because... now this is where it gets a little murky. Clearly there were more issues to be resolved and we didn't get to the bottom of them. I'm not exactly sure what they were or why we remained estranged (outside of the occasional faceless, impersonal, generic email) for another 8 years. I always suspected it had to do with our mother's passing, but could never be sure. We just didn't speak again. Very strange...

We didn't speak, that is, until my oldest daughter orchestrated a reunion this past spring. This impromptu get-together went unexpectedly well, subsequently my sister and I began visiting each other, picking up were we left off all those years ago. Again very strange... We've never discussed what went wrong, our grievances or why we wasted all those years. She hasn't shown any sign of wanting to go there and quite frankly, neither have I. But I wonder if we should? Is it healthy to ignore an intentional 16 year absence? Or would it just open up old wounds that are best left to heal? I like to think I'm being guided by God by my continual disregard of our 16 year rift. It seems almost normal to pretend we just got together last month instead of 16 years ago.

Aside from these concerns, I'm deeply grateful that my daughter set into motion a ceasefire. Without her intervention, I doubt either one of our egos would have allowed this meeting. I am convinced God used my daughter to accomplish his designs, but it does generate more questions. Why did God choose this time to facilitate a reunion between my sister and me? What is it meant to accomplish? Is there more I should be doing or saying? Which brings me full circle back to the question of do we need to rehash the past in order to move forward or is the past best left buried? My instincts say now isn't the time to bring up ancient grievances and wisdom tells me to leave well enough alone. I shall trust my instincts and be guided by wisdom at least, for the time being.

So it's Happy Birthday to both Jesus and my sister. I am delighted to have a rapport with them and both are God-given. One to save my life, one to share my life. Next to our mother, our sister is the closest and most complicated female relationship we'll ever experience. Until recently I'd thought I'd lost both, so I am warmed to the cockles (is there such a word?) of my heart that my sister and I have reunited. It is a relationship worth preserving. Time and wisdom have spun their magic so we have another chance to share the unique fellowship only a sister can reciprocate. Happy 16 Birthdays, Sis...

Adios Facebook

My oldest daughter has signed off permanently from Facebook. After a series of conflicts and misunderstandings caused by her use of this social network, she decided it wasn’t worth it. I understand her reasons and even, agree with her, but I’ll miss her daily comments and entertaining updates. It’s a shame that a handful of ignoramuses have caused this situation which also, have caused me pause to think about the overall use of Facebook.

My daughter was born to be a social being. By the time she'd turned one, she was jabbering constantly, with much of it already in English! She loved to communicate whether it was talking your ear off after school or writing novel length citations in cards or letters she frequently gave others. Facebook was created for people like her and its too bad it hadn’t remained in the hands of people like her; whose only objective is to happily and harmlessly stay in touch. Sadly there simply aren’t enough like her...

Originally Facebook was created as an online social networking site that people could play games, keep in touch and have fun poking one another. I don’t believe anyone thought that it would also, become a magnet attracting hackers whose only intent is to wreak havoc, a forum for malicious and often untrue bullying or an updated venue for gossip sessions. I never envisioned when I signed on many years ago, that it would devolve into such a setting, but given human nature; no one should be surprised. Even the old-fashioned forums such as “coffee” cliques, quilting circles or boys-night-out routinely fell into gossiping and back-stabbing others.

The problem with Facebook or any other online social network is that the assumed anonymity gives individuals additional courage to be more vicious. We just can’t enjoy fun, nontoxic interactions with one another without resorting to unprincipled behaviour. It’s seen everywhere that technology has allowed faceless communication as far back has Bell’s telephone. Sadly technology has unwittingly sanctioned a whole new social crisis; that of cyber bullying, personal defacement and humiliation.

Most of us would never admit to any of these crimes, but then most of us would never admit to the old-fashioned bullying and gossiping. But who is responsible for all these hurtful things? I know, I know...it’s “They”. “They” post spiteful statuses on Facebook. “They” send defaming text messages on their cell phones. “They” are responsible for this new wave of trouble.

It’s a shame that “they” drove my daughter off of Facebook, but when you think about it, maybe those of us who just want to enjoy some harmless socializing, we could opt to get together around someone’s kitchen table and just do it. You know...like the old days!

Gamma Roars her Engine

I was at my 2 year old grandson's birthday party recently and while enjoying the festivities one of my beautiful, smart and interesting granddaughters asked me, "Gamma, come play with me?" Now this particular granddaughter wasn't the 14 year old. Oh noooo, that one may have asked me to trade make-up or dating tips; which I felt reasonably equipped to handle. No, the granddaughter in question was the 3 year old whose idea of play involves real play; like dolls and trucks for instance. What else could I say, but a resounding and eager, “Sure Honey, why not?”

Now I’m 55 and haven’t played with little trucks, cars or dolls for many years or perhaps, decades! This was going to be interesting! So down I went creaking and popping to the floor and began roaring the engine of the wee minivan she'd handed me. Honestly it must have sounded somewhere between a backfiring Mac truck and a bewildered grizzly bear woken in mid-winter, but it appeared to satisfy my granddaughter as she smiled approvingly at her dear "Gamma". Let the play begin!

My “girl” was a three inch Disney figurine of Cinderella while my granddaughter’s was Sleeping Beauty. Our props include the aforementioned minivan, two small train engines, a partial train track and one regular sized dump truck. Out of this I must create something called “play” that would entertain a three year old. I must have been triumphant because we'd barely begun act one of the three act play I’d hurriedly conjured up from the rusty recesses of my creative imagination, when two other wee party goers wanted to join our little duo.

Amid screeches of, “That’s mine!”, “I want that one!” and a plaintive, “Gammmmma...” the four of us attempted to sort out toys, while my mind I swiftly restructured our three act play to include two more players. Meanwhile, my ingenious granddaughter left and soon returned with several more Disney “girls” and a couple more vehicles thus, ending the prop distribution dilemma. In the meantime I desperately searched the room for an escape route, finding none; I decided the show must go on!

Although I can’t say any of the actors stayed on point, soon we were all knee deep into the storyline and everything was moving along quite nicely. That is until the frustrated two year old had an artistic fit and suddenly threw his “girl” and vehicle offstage and attempted to snatch my granddaughter’s! Naturally a tussle ensued which totally broke the ambiance of the moment. Creative temperaments can be so difficult to manage.... still with tempers settled down, the show managed to go on; while I continued to plan my getaway.

Aside from several more interruptions by artistic temperments we played... Disney “girls” danced and sang, trucks and trains raced and crashed, wee actors gleefully laughed the laughter of childhood; while “Gamma” lost track of time. Eventually our little group was interrupted by a signal from Grandpa that it was time to depart; silence fell upon our group. “Gamma” had to leave. The show was over. Amidst the “Awwwws” from the children, I heard a stranger speak for me saying, “Already?” “But we’re not done playing....”