Day One...

On my first day becoming smoke-free I went to the city with Hubby because I had to buy a walker. For those that don't know; my back is worn out, finished, over, done, ka-put! I need surgery but, will have to wait for at least a year and likely longer. In the meantime, the walker will help me get around. Being disabled and in so much pain has been quite an adjustment, but getting a walker has taken quite a mental chunk out of me. Going smoke-free at the same time has helped distract me.

Overall, my day with Hubby went quite well. I brought a bag of popcorn to munch on, gum to chew and a magazine to read. The cravings came and went throughout the day as I expected, but it wasn't until later after we got home and I was tired and especially hurting where it got harder.

I went shopping for Easter with my daughters which probably wasn't such a bright idea as they still smoke. I admit later in the evening I stole a couple of puffs off a cigarette! Agh! My first cheat!

Initially I felt really guilty. Here I'd gone all day then fell into temptation at the end of the day. Oh well, it's bound to happen and I won't spend any time or energy fretting about it. I was really tired and hurting; a moment of weakness. Not that I'll use those excuses, but it won't help beating myself up should I slip.

I got right back to it and spent the rest of my evening smoke-free. This slip doesn't constitute failure it just reveals an Achille's heel. One I'll have to fortify against because other people still smoke and I'm guaranteed to be around them. I don't expect the world to quit because I'm trying.

So there you have it; my first almost, not quite smoke-free day. Now to deal with having to use a walker. Agh!!!!