Happy 16 Birthdays

December is the last month of 2010, the birthday month my older sister shares with Jesus. I always thought it would be cool to share Jesus' birth month. Or as the kids say today, "It would be really SIC!" No matter; it is my sister's birthday and for the first time in scores of years we can celebrate...

Although I sent my sister birthday cards most of the years we didn't speak, they were just a hollow attempt to stay in contact. This year the card really means something. My sister and I have been estranged for 16 years over an issue with her boyfriend. We did ostensibly resolve this matter after the first 8 years, but for some reason our so-called reconciliation never materialized because... now this is where it gets a little murky. Clearly there were more issues to be resolved and we didn't get to the bottom of them. I'm not exactly sure what they were or why we remained estranged (outside of the occasional faceless, impersonal, generic email) for another 8 years. I always suspected it had to do with our mother's passing, but could never be sure. We just didn't speak again. Very strange...

We didn't speak, that is, until my oldest daughter orchestrated a reunion this past spring. This impromptu get-together went unexpectedly well, subsequently my sister and I began visiting each other, picking up were we left off all those years ago. Again very strange... We've never discussed what went wrong, our grievances or why we wasted all those years. She hasn't shown any sign of wanting to go there and quite frankly, neither have I. But I wonder if we should? Is it healthy to ignore an intentional 16 year absence? Or would it just open up old wounds that are best left to heal? I like to think I'm being guided by God by my continual disregard of our 16 year rift. It seems almost normal to pretend we just got together last month instead of 16 years ago.

Aside from these concerns, I'm deeply grateful that my daughter set into motion a ceasefire. Without her intervention, I doubt either one of our egos would have allowed this meeting. I am convinced God used my daughter to accomplish his designs, but it does generate more questions. Why did God choose this time to facilitate a reunion between my sister and me? What is it meant to accomplish? Is there more I should be doing or saying? Which brings me full circle back to the question of do we need to rehash the past in order to move forward or is the past best left buried? My instincts say now isn't the time to bring up ancient grievances and wisdom tells me to leave well enough alone. I shall trust my instincts and be guided by wisdom at least, for the time being.

So it's Happy Birthday to both Jesus and my sister. I am delighted to have a rapport with them and both are God-given. One to save my life, one to share my life. Next to our mother, our sister is the closest and most complicated female relationship we'll ever experience. Until recently I'd thought I'd lost both, so I am warmed to the cockles (is there such a word?) of my heart that my sister and I have reunited. It is a relationship worth preserving. Time and wisdom have spun their magic so we have another chance to share the unique fellowship only a sister can reciprocate. Happy 16 Birthdays, Sis...