Mountains to Climb

I am about to turn 55 in 13 days and I simply cannot believe where the time has gone? I can't believe both my daughters are currently 29 until the oldest turns 30 on October 1st. Yes, they are only 11 months apart! Crazy, huh? Where, oh where did the time go?? Thus my sense of urgency.

All my adult life I have been a seeker. I grew up in much dysfunction. My parents were ill-equipped to deal with their demons, especially my mother so, we children often fell victim to their angst. Due to this I have always tried to raise the bar and in many ways by the grace of God, I was able. Still, with 55 on the horizon I feel an increasing urge to climb some difficult mountains and hopefully, find that peace that surpasses understanding.

I believe that in order to be in that place of peace we must live authentically and be true to who we are in all ways. To me that means living in the fullness of God's will in my life. It's not that I've never lived in God's will. My goodness to have risen above my upbringing and not cripple my own children with my demons had to be and continues to be a gracious act of God. But much of my life has been lived by my own will and God's desires have been secondary. This has led to a malfunction at the junction!

I feel there are some missing pieces in my life. It's difficult to put into words, but I intend to keep a journal as I embark on this journey of discovery. I need to "Know" God and who I am in Christ. I need to step into the fullness of God's will for my life and check my ego at the door.

Because our lives are finite, there are only so many windows of opportunities we are allowed. My God is a God of second chances and new beginnings, but my life span is predetermined and all the second chances will be use up upon my death. I don't want to be at death's door and feel I never gave it all to be in God's will for my life.

I have several mountains I need to climb in order to live my best life in this physical world and in the spiritual world. Due to recent events in my life and turning 55 years old has provoked me to quit dilly-dallying and get busy doing the work to complete my journey in this life; living in the truth of who I really am and not what I think I should be.

We are more than our pasts, more than our physical surroundings and more than our DNA. We are the sum of all that Jesus was and is but, we have to do the work be at our best and to live in that place of peace. It will be a process and a journey, but after years of avoidance, I am finally ready to go there...